A Tale of Two Mothers

This is the tale of two mothers: Barbara Barnhart Dell and Susannah Tilghman Parker. These two women, who were the mothers of my great-great-grandparents, are buried side by side in the cemetery of Wards Chapel Methodist Church in Harrisonville, Maryland. It is fitting that they share a final resting place, for their lives were strangely similar and intertwined.

Both women were born in what is now Carroll County, Maryland. Barbara, who was born about 1810, was the daughter of David Barnhart. I have yet to identify Susannah's parents, but she was born about 1790. If the information on their tombstones is correct, both women (especially Susannah) lived very long lives for that time period. Barbara died in 1881 in her 79th year. Susannah died 11 years later, in 1892, in her 101st year!

Both Barbara and Susannah had very large families. Barbara and her husband, Nicholas Dell, had 8 children. Susannah and her husband, Zebedee Parker, had 9 children. Both Barbara and Susannah were widowed. Nicholas Dell died between 1850 and 1860. Zebedee Parker died between 1840 and 1850. Neither Nicholas nor Zebedee are buried with their wives. I have yet to locate a final resting place for either of the husbands.

These two families were joined in 1854 when Barbara's oldest son, Jesse W. Dell, married Susannah's daughter, Susannah Parker. (These were my great-great-grandparents.) Four years later Barbara's daughter, Tobitha Dell, married Susannah's son, Columbus Parker.

Both these women lived out their later years in the homes of their sons. Barbara went to live with Jesse and his family and Susannah lived with Columbus and his family.

This morning I discovered one other thing that these two mothers had in common; something no mother should ever have to go through: the death of a child.

When I first visited the cemetery at Wards Chapel about 10 years ago, I noticed a stone engraved with a shield and this simple epitaph: "W.H.H. Dell / Co. E / 5th MD Inf." Because of the inscription, I suspected this was the grave of a soldier, and I wanted to know more about the person who was buried there. One day, years later, I was doing some research online and came across a photograph of a Civil War era cemetery. In the picture was row after row of identical stones, and each one had that same shield design as the one at Wards Chapel. I knew then that my anonymous soldier had served during the Civil War.

I later discovered that a "Henry Dell" served with the 5th MD Infantry Regiment in Co. E from October 1861 till September 1862. Further research in the service records at the National Archives revealed that "Henry" was wounded in the battle of Antietam on Sept. 17, 1862 (the bloodiest single-day battle in American history). He died three months later on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day of 1862. He had either succumbed to his injuries or had contracted an illness while in the hospital.

Barbara and Nicholas Dell's youngest son was listed in the 1850 census as Harrison Dell. In 1860 he was listed as Wm. H. Dell. This information, along with the name in the Civil War records and the initials on the tombstone, have led me to believe that the young man buried at Wards Chapel was named William Henry Harrison Dell and that he was Barbara's youngest son.

Last night I was trying to fill in some gaps in my Dell family research. I located a death notice for Henry Klausman, who was married to Barbara's youngest daughter Sarah in 1864. The obituary noted that Henry had served in the Union army during the Civil War. I decided to research his war service on Ancestry.com, and I came across a very interesting piece of information. Henry had also served in Co. E of the 5th MD Infantry Regiment!

I made a note of this tidbit, then went on to something else. This morning I was thinking about my discovery, and I had a brainstorm. Susannah Parker's obituary had mentioned that her youngest son, William, had died in the Civil War. If William Henry Dell and Henry Klausman were in the same unit, then perhaps William Parker was as well.

I went back and checked the record, and sure enough there was William Parker. The notation next to his name indicated that William died at the battle of Antietam! So both Barbara and Susannah lost their youngest sons in that fateful battle, one on the battlefield that day and the other in a hospital three months later. What a sad coincidence.